DMC Interviews Revisited
by Arkanus
Summary: Cross over interviews: With LoTR crossover insertion; Trish, Dante, Virgil, Sparda, Eva, Lucia. Lady and Arkham coming up. Insertion with other game and book characters. Placed in Crossover section so no one will see it. lol.
1. Interview Lives Again! In the Crossover

A/N: Alright, due to some problems before, **I have this back up and revised**. I wasn't going to put it back up, but someone was very inspired by my fanfic and wrote a DMC type interview as well. I thank them for crediting me in their profile, because that means a lot. I wasn't even expecting that! We're all inspired by each other!

This started out between me and Alex, because he and I have similar humor! And made it DMC interviews to post here, but first, let me post my little funnies:

Dante meets LoTR: (scene at the end of LoTR with Balrog) 

* * *

Dante stands there getting ready for a fight between him and a hundred orcs and goblins...then THUMP...THUMP...THUMP...(quiet stillness all around) 

Suddenly, all the goblins and orcs run far away...everything is quiet and still, like a mountain spring water running down a far off cliff.

Dante proceeds to stand around, much like when he fidgets and scratches his head and remarks, "Uh yeahhhh...okay?" he clears his throat, "Anyone home? Come on now! I thought we're going to have a PARTY?" The silver haired demon holds on to his alastor, gacked from his star roling in Devil May cry one.

He hears the thunderous footsteps of a something that could very well topple the empire state building. Is it King Kong? Is it Godzilla? Noooo….Dante sniffs the air; he smells naught hairy apes nor Japanese transformers and burnt sausages.

Instead, Balrog comes running down...THUMP THUMP; the noise is deafening. It's a shame that Dante has such good hearing. He picked at his ear and squinted one eye. The monstrous beast came into view. This brought on a cheery smile from the half devil.

"Oh yeah, now this is my KIND of party!"

Balrog opens his gaping mouth; a cavernous dark hole that smelt of morning breath.

The half devil nearly toppled over with the stench, holding two fingers together to pinch at the top point of his nose.

"Dude, you need a serious bath! No wonder you're so damn ugly!"

This only seemed to incense the great beast and he growled some more.

But the half devil snarkily replied, "Oh yeah? I thought this stinking hole was the last place I'd see anyone with an ugly mug like you."

Balrog snaps his jaws together like a piranha and opens it again only to utter a great big: "ROOOAAWWRRRRR!" He gets out whip and starts slashing all over the place, the noise of SLAAASH! WHIP! SLASSSH, echoes in the darkened large chamber.

Dante grinned and yelled, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Then proceeds to slam alastor down and goes Devil triggering!

Needless to say, Alastor who is the spirit in the sword was not pleased being stuck in the middle of the ground.

finis

DMC INTERVIEWS: (Arkanus speaks to audience, also 3rd pov)

Arkanus clears his throat to receive the onslaught of Devil May cry fans in the studio,

"Welcome folks to the Arkanus show where we interview various casts from the world of fanfiction!"

Everyone in the audience screams and yells; woots and hollers of yay and hooray could be heard, while girls squeal for a glimpse of Dante or Vergil. Boys on the other hand wish for either a sneak preview of the hot looking blonde mother-look-alike Eva wearing tight black leather and a tiny top. They also wouldn't mind some booty action and wished for some a cute sturdy red head with one eye! But most of them liked the new girl; Lady who looked sweet and innocent and packed a personality that could wish you were at the end of her pistol.

Arkanus placed his hands together and clapped, grinning,

"Yep it's right here where we can ask away all the questions that need to be answered!

Today we have Trish from devil may cry!"

Audience of fanguys go wild, many of them like the hot blonde, "WOOOHOO!" noises of loud grunting and whistles all around could be heard.

The fangirls were split into two, yelling out cheers, "ALRIGHT! Trish is my idol! She is so lucky! She gets to LIVE with the demon hunter! I want to be her!"

The other half of fangirls were not so generous for they screamed with dripping malice and hate, "What a slut! I hate Trish! She tried to kill Dante! Stupid bitch needs to DIE!"

Trish walks down the aisle and she's waving her hands around like a beauty queen on a Miss America pageant without the flowers. The blonde's notable chewing gum inside her mouth; popping it against her pale cheeks and red lips.

Arkanus welcomes the newcomer with open arms, delighted to see the statuesque blonde who was such a looker. No wonder the full demon Sparda wanted her!

"Welcome Trish! We are so happy to have you here."

Trish gushes with pride and glee. With both hands on hips, she struck a pose, "Thanks! I'm glad to be here!"

Then winks at the audience of guys for effect.

A fangirl out in the audience stands up as everyone proceeded to sit down, "Ahem, ma'am, miss Trish, where can you find clothes of such awesome sexiness as say, what you wear?"

Arkanus pipes up, "HEY! That was the same question asked by my other show! Be original people!"

Trish gushes again with pride and pushed her blonde hair back, although there's nothing to push back because her long hair happened to be cut at the front while long strands hung past her butt. She giggles,

"Oh my!" A dark blush stains her cheek, "That's quite alright, Arkanus. I'd be happy to answer."

AUDIENCE of GUYS started to interrupt her, "Hey, Trish are you going to be appearing on Playboy soon!"

The host of the show was not amused, "Uh, er, this is a GENERAL audience! No harassing the guest please! And one question at a time PLEASE!"

Trish titters, "Why thank you, er, well, I don't know exactly." She blows out a pink bubble gum: POP!

"To tell you all the truth, Mundus is actually a clothes designer, yes, it's true! That is his true passion!

Being a demon lord is only 2nd place."

Mundus in the crowd stands up, with a whiny voice, "HEY! You weren't supposed to tell anyone!"

Virgil in crowd also stands up, surprising everyone, "HE also designed my new look!" then strikes a pose, "And gave me a new name Nelo fking Angelo, dudes!"

Mundus whines out loud, "I'm NEVER going to live up to this! WAH!"

The former dark prince of the Underworld hides behind some audience members in deep shame but he's so big as a statue it's impossible"

A suspiciously familiar annoying little man speaks up, "Trish, may I ask exactly where you were during the world-threatening crisis taking place during DMC2? Did you not feel the need to address the situation immediately as say, a character accessible from the very start?"

Trish pauses for a long long time, then POPS bubble gum in her face, so that she had to pull the sticky gummy stuff off of her lips with her finger; twirling it seductively. The men in the audience were leaning forward expectantly.

She finally speaks, "Uh...er,...uh...well," clears throat, "Where was I? I was...I was..." Everyone could see she was thinking really really hard for the side of her temple showed a quivering vein.

Virgil from crowd stands up again, "She was ordering black leather wear from Victorias secret!"

Trish pipes up and gives Virgil the evil eye, "I WAS NOT!" With this piece of news she reaches from her back pocket, finds it hard to find whatever it is that is stapled to her butt and finally finds the piece of nail filer. Filing her nails, she coughed out,

"I was merely...checking out catalogues for the greater good of the devastating world."

Mundus from behind audience screams with accusation, "TRISH! You didn't! That's my competition!" Then to everyone's surprise, sobs and runs down the hall...stomping all over the people in his way,

"WAHHH!" Everyone can hear him crying all the way down the street.

Trish rolls her blue eyes heavenward, "And people say I'm EMOTIONAL?"

She clicks her tongue and rolls her eyes again and starts popping her bubble gum.

The show pauses for some important controversial news:

A video clip got cut off due to Mundus's lawsuit! The Arkanus show will be momentarily cancelled until further notice!

Arkanus comes back and wipes a hanky over his sweating forehead,

"Ok folks we are back." Againwipes a hanky over forehead andtakes out anotherdry hanky,

"Damn, I had to buy all of Mundus's spring collection next year to avoid a lawsuit! Ah well! So we return to our lovely guest, Trish the devil hunters sidekick!"

Audience of guys were eager again, screaming,

"WOOHOO! ARF ARF! WOOF WOOF!"

Some burp out loud due to the passing out of complimentary beer nuts and beer.

Half of the Fangirls in the audience were angry and hating the blonde sidekick who backstabbed their pretty devil hunter,

"We're going to write a fanfic of Trish-bashing! Grrr!"

Half of the other Fangirls were more generous,

"We love you Trish! We think you and Dante are an adorable couple! SO LUCKY!"

A wave of sighs go out. To some fans though, however, there was a disconcerting question that they wanted to ask but none dared to ask it. The big question was: Why the heck does Dante want to go and bed the woman who looks exactly like his mum? But none spoke these thoughts out loud for fear of the hidden taboo behind it. The fear of the Oedipus Complex!

Arkanus brought things back up to par and sat next to the tall blonde,

"So Trish, as in my other show I asked this same question which will be addressed to you. Who do you like better? Virgil or Dante?"

Trish makes a cow face, "Huh? What kind of question is that?"

Virgil in crowd stands up, his face was hidden in a big hat so none of the girls could really recognize him for fear of fan girl mauling. Needless to say, the girls in the audience were more prone to physical beauty and Virgil wore a groucho marx nose, plastic black nerdy glasses,and mustache with one of those Colombo detective hats, "Yeah! tell them the truth, Trish! The real truth! That you prefer me over Dante!"

Well so that gave a lot away right there when the fan girls who sat next to Virgil gave him a look over, some peering into the groucho disguise, hoping to see beneath the clown outfit. They didnt seem convinced...yet.

Trish made a popping noise with her gum,

"Huh?"

Shepops a new bubble gum and pulls it out with her fingers, making swirls around them. The boys in the audience leaned forward again.

Then she stuck out her tongue at him, "I don't like you, Virgil and in fact I think you're a PIG!"

Virgil in crowd struck another pose, "YEAH you do! DO TOO DO TOO!"

Now the girls who were close to Virgil began to fidget and whisper to themselves, thinking that the funny looking guy in the clown costume could be none other than the demon hunter's brother?

Trish ignored the rising whisper and yelled at Virgil, "You're so dreaming!"

* * *

To be continued: 


	2. Continuation

A/N: A repost/revision now to Crossovers. Right now, focusing on DMC characters.

* * *

Vergil starts to dance around, looking like a complete idiot; shaking his bum back and forth, while the fan girls around him were curiously looking at his ass. They gave a slight squeal to see that he had a nice body despite the ugly costume and mask. This goes to show you that fan girls are so usually into gorgeous guys; physical looks rule! If that doesn't save you, at least the strong character does. Look at Sephiroth and Hellsing. So the older Sparda boy dances and sings to the tune: "Trish and Vergil sitting in a tree!"

Trish snorted and then growled out a very unbecoming voice, "That's it! I've had it with your fcking little annoying crap!"

Trish DT's and starts shooting at Vergil; firing round after round of glowing yellow like bullets into him, which look very much like lightning piss, "TAKE THAT! And this goes for you PIGS too!"

She shoots at the guys in the audience and some keel over and die, beer nuts everywhere and some guys run out of there as fast as they can!

Arkanus starts to pull out his hair and screams, "EEP! No! Not again! Not my beautiful studio! Boohoo! These fanfic characters are so violent!"

Trish turns to the fan girls and snorts, "This goes for you fan girls who hate my guts! Don't mess with the Trish! You hear me! huh huh huh? I hate fan girls who write stories and pair them with MY Dante!"

She starts shooting at those girls and they all go screaming and keels over...dead. The other half of the fan girls smile nervously and raise their hands hesitantly, yelling out," We worship you, Trish! We love you!"

Meanwhile, Vergil is staggering on the stage...looking like he is on his last breath.

Vergil cries out in pretended pain, "OOHHHHHH THE PAIN THE PAIN!" He gets a bullet full of holes in his chest and puts two hands on them--dramatically dying on the stage floor, choking out, coughing and sputtering,

"OH what shall I do!"

He puts back of hand over his forehead, tilting his head backward.

"Where shall I go? I've gone to meet my maker!"

He coughs, "Wait! Do I even have a maker?"

"Shit! I'm gonna be pushing up daisies! Oh the humiliation! The pain! He clumsily stumbles around the crowd, and the crowd is OOOOOing and AAAHing..., they sway with him back and forth when he tilts one way to the other.

Vergil cries out again, this time to the annoyed blonde, "This is the end of me, Trish!" He moves forward to her, and grabs hold of her shoulders and coughs,

"Won't you miss your "favorite" devil? I'm out to meet Saint Peter at the pearly gates and ask for permission to get in! I'll be six feet under! OOHHH! NOOO! I can't...take...the...pain!"

He does the famous eyes rolling over till the whites of his eyes show.

Trish had her arms crossed, her boots clicking nervously on the floor, tapping loudly, "Oh for crying out loud! Die already!"

Arkanus shakes his head and is upset that he'd get another lawsuit on his hands and screams, "SECURITY! Get this guy OUTTA HERE! The guy in the stupid clown outfit and groucho marx face mask who calls himself Vergil!"

The security men rush to get the half devil out of there carrying his lifeless body off the stage.

Arkanus wipes his forehead with another dry hanky, soaking it all over again, "Well, whew, back to our program, Now Trish..."

The audience of guys start to interrupt him, "TRISH! TRISH! When are you going to be appearing on the cover of playboy?"

Trish had this hugely smug face on her with a pretended blush and twittered, "Where did the rest of these guys come from?"

The host then notices the lack of crewmen in the back!

"HEY! where's my camera man, the janitor, my stage manager, lighting men and the rest of the back crew?"

Some of the audience of guys raises hands!

The host begins to grumble, "You won't get paid." And the men rush back to their stations.

"That's better. Now, speaking of magazines, Trish do you appear in one?"

Trish pops her gum, "PS2 Magazine."

Arkanus sidles over, "Actually I was thinking of something in the same genre as my crew!"

Then out of no where, the unsuspecting host gets slapped TWICE!

"Ohh..." He then drops to the ground unconscious.

The camera angles go to the roof and ZIP... a black screen appears throughout the nation's television sets.

It looks like another black out.

* * *

To be continued: 


End file.
